July 7, 2013
Amanda went in for her latest check up with Colby so here is a little update. First off, the doctor was surprised that Amanda had not given birth yet and that Colby was still hanging on. We are at 33 weeks! Apparently there was some trouble finding his heart beat, but during the search, Colby decided to fight back and started kicking, thus relieving the tension a little. Eventually, we heard it, strong and steady. Amanda's health seems to be ok as well.
During this time, God has been showing me the depths of His peace and that, in this situation, He has given it specifically as a way of coping with something that is too big for me to handle. There have been many stressful times in my life where I have felt peace that doesn't make any sense. Amanda can attest to this as I am pretty sure my calmness sometimes makes her wonder if I am taking things seriously or not.
Right now though, my experience is very different. This is by far the most stressful and consequential situation I have ever encountered and I have seen how hard despair can fight back as the war rages in your mind. That being said, I can literally feel a peace residing in me next to the place that harbours my fears for Colby. This started last Sunday and is so much more focused than the almost generic feeling of peace I feel over hard situations. There is no explaining or adequately describing the feeling, but with it comes the assurance that I can take hold of that peace and place it over my situation. Choosing to accept this peace has had a very profound effect. I feel more emotionally rested than I have in a long time and I am comfortable waiting on God's next move.
For those of you who have been praying for us, this is very much a tangible answer to prayer. This is going to the final round and the peace that I feel tells me someone much bigger and more capable is going to be stepping into the ring as Colby's champion.